im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
