Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
