I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
