I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We got so high we made milksteak
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
