After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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