How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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