Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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