I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want to make out with him forever
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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