I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
