return my video game
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
