we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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