Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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