One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
