I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
