I looked at my own cervix.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
