Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
