I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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