am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nobody cheats on THIS.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize