I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
