i just wanna soil my oats bro
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
