Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
