so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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