Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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