Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
