i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
