Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
