You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
