Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
