And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
