i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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