oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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