Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize