im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize