I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's just like the Real World with babies
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize