Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
