i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
