I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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