Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
