I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
