I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
