You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
