your parents love me but you hate me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
