I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
