Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
