She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
