her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
