Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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