he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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