It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
