it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize