how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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