What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
