well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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