i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
