i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
