I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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