So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize