Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
