last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
