Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
