somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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