so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
